Tag Archives: stress

In A Deserted Place, All By Ourselves?


A Deserted Place, All By Ourselves

Stress is defined as the body’s reaction to events or circumstances which may; excite, frighten, endanger, thrill, be tragic or joyful etc.  The body literally prepares itself to fight for, or run for, your life!  “Tell us something we don’t know!” you are probably thinking.  We are all too familiar with the negative effects of stress in our lives.  Everyone is affected differently; different triggers, different types of reactions, different defense mechanisms.

 

When the apostles got back together with Jesus after their mission of healing and teaching they were wired for sound!  They were so excited that they were able to actually heal some people, drive out some demons, and that people actually wanted to hear them speak!  It was thrilling to suddenly be in demand, to be popular.  They probably felt like they could continue on this track forever, after all, the adrenaline kick to their system was continually being fired by the people crowding around them.  They had more energy, could sense the world more keenly, were stronger.  What a high!

 

The other thing that the body does when faced with stressors, whether positive or negative, is to shut down some of the less vital body functions.  With limited resources, it can hardly add the extra without taking something away.  It shuts down the digestive system until you are safe again; it turns off the immune system.  If you might die (what the body assumes when stressed) what difference will it make if you digested your lunch or catch a cold?  When we deal with one stressor after another over a period of time our body will suffer, the heightened alert state can only go on for so long before a crash!

 

Jesus knew that the apostles were headed for a crash if they didn’t get a rest, some mental and physical down time, a chance to eat and digest a meal, to sleep a bit.  When they were alone together he often took the chance to teach them and explain some of his parables to them more clearly.  All of this would enrich their ministry and enable them to continue.  He was concerned for their wellbeing even when they weren’t aware of any risk.

 

There is so much in this one set of bookend stories today about which I could speak.  I say bookends because, as I’m sure you noticed, they are the stories immediately before and after the great stories of the feeding of the 5,000 and Jesus walking on water.  In fact several sources I looked at suggested ignoring the fact that the lectionary skipped that section of the story and preach about it anyway.  The two things I’m going to look at this time are Jesus’ compassion (for his apostles and the crowds) and their faith in his healing power.

 

Busyness followed them despite their attempt to get some time to themselves.  They headed off in boats to find a quiet place away from the crowd and it didn’t work because the crowd found them.  The fact that Mark tells us that the crowd got to the isolated location first is used to indicate their great need and the fact that they were now with Jesus in a deserted place rather than out in the public eye where there was risk to his life.  It is also important to note that it really shows that they didn’t even have a moment to get settled before being back on-the-job.  

 

 I would say that few, if any, of us have crowds of fans following us around and trying to guess where we will be in order to line up for a chance to see us.  This is reserved for the Queen, teen heartthrobs and the like.  What crowds do we have following us?  What busyness presses in on our time apart?  We have work, and family, and church, and kid’s activities etc.  Our cell phones, our laptops, smart technology all allow us to be available to the world 24/7.  We can have real-time online chats with people around the globe, which may well mean in the middle of the night for one of us.  We may be in the middle of handling a situation and be interrupted at any moment by someone else’s crisis; one of the kids forgot gym clothes, a telemarketer wanting us to add services on our phones, a friend in trouble.  Neither the original situation, nor the new one gets the focused attention we may want to give.  So long as we have these items with us and turned on, they will beat us to our quiet time.  We may be in a deserted place, but not alone.   The world is there with us, just like the crowds who managed to found Jesus and his apostles in the deserted place.

 

I expect you may remember, from other posts, me mentioning my friend The Rev. Charles Deogratias, a Presbyterian chaplain with the Canadian Forces.  Charles and his wife Hyasinter grew up in a refugee camp after their families had fled the genocide in Rwanda. They live in Canada now but have never lost touch with their own country, their own people.  As Charles gets nearer to retirement they have started a project called The Heartprints Community Center.  They have purchased a piece of land in Rwanda and are raising funds to build and operate a community center on the property.  The concept is really interesting.  Aware of the great potential and desire to learn and improve in Rwanda, and the wealth of knowledge and experience here in Canada which, especially after retirement, often goes untapped; the plan is to have the Rwandese government to identify the expertise they need for their projects and for the center to assist with finding the people.  Volunteers would be cared for there at the center, with meals and accommodations etc. and each day they would be picked up and taken to where their help is needed.  This is different from a typical mission trip where people from here try to identify a specific project or need and go into an area to carry out the short or long term work.   Just as Jesus showed the apostles, one thing that Charles agrees will be very important is that at the end of the work term (3 weeks, 6 months or whatever a person is able to give) volunteers will have a break and a chance to enjoy the country, to go on a safari, to rest from the needs of others and care for their own needs.

 

After their unsuccessful attempt to get away on their own Jesus sent the apostles to go ahead of him to Bethsaida, a community on the North Eastern shore of the Sea of Galilee.  The next thing today’s story tells us is that they were barely out of the boat at Ganeseret before people recognized them and were begging to touch Jesus’ cloak fringe for healing.  Did you catch that?  What were they doing in Ganeseret, North Western shore, when they were headed to Bethsaida?  Whether due to confusion during the storm(see the story of Jesus walking on water), a lack of confidence on the part of the disciples, or coincidence they did not arrive where they had headed. They were, as it turns out, in the wrong place – at the right time! 

 

People were begging to touch even a fringe, bringing sick from all the surrounding area for healing.  In contrast to the issue of lack of miracles in his home town, due to lack of faith, here there was great faith that Jesus would heal them.  One commentary I read stated that this faith in a touch of Jesus’ coat was nothing more than superstition, after-all these people had never met Jesus, never heard his message of repentance.  This is an interesting point, but the people who did know him the best, at home, didn’t believe at all and the apostles, who were now even partners in the teaching and healing, still had doubts.  The people in Ganeseret had needs, and they had faith that they would be met through Jesus Christ.

 

Do you remember the rock musical Jesus Christ Superstar?  One line in the song Everything’s Alright is sung by Jesus in response to Judas’ outrage at wasting expensive oil which could have been sold and the money given to the poor,

“Surely you’re not saying
We have the resources
To save the poor from their lot?
There will be poor always
Pathetically struggling
Look at the good things you’ve got!”

“There will be poor always,” is a paraphrase of the words of Jesus as recorded in the books of Matthew, Mark, and John; three of the four Gospels.  Some might take this as a rather callous statement; it might seem that he is suggesting we just forget about them because we cannot solve the problem of poverty and suffering.  We know, however, that it wasn’t meant that way.  As the song continues Jesus indicates that they should be taking advantage of the time they have with him, to hear him teach.  We are able to see, in stories like today’s, that Jesus had compassion on crowds wherever he went.  Up until this set of stories his compassion had been for specific people who were sick but here this compassion is extended to include the whole crowd, a whole flock of lost sheep.  He healed them and he taught them even when he had been trying to get a break.  But we are not Jesus.  Time apart, by ourselves, to be healed and to hear Jesus’ teaching is an important part of our ministry as Christians. There will always be people to help whether we take time to look after ourselves or not, but we will not always be able to help unless we do take that time.  Amen.

 

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

 Jesus Christ Superstar is a rock opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber, with lyrics by Tim Rice.

 

The To Do List As Stress Reliever?


When you think of things you can do to relieve the effects of stress in your life you probably focus on things like hot baths, long walks, calming music etc.  I don’t think many people would think of making a to-do-list as having the potential to relieve their stress.

We are familiar with the seemingly endless list of things that we need to get done.  Even kids in middle school begin to feel the stress of being time-bound.  So much to do and so little time!

If you were to make a list of all that has to be done in the next week it could easily cause more stress.  The idea of the To-Do-List stress reliever is that you start at the beginning of the day you are already in.  Perhaps at 10AM you will sit down and make a list that starts with; get up, shower, get dressed etc.  Having completed the list that takes you to bedtime for that day, you then check off all the things you have already done.  Now looking at the list you are likely to see that you are almost half-way finished with the must-dos and have most of the day left to get to them.  A weight lifts!

Obviously this does not work for everyone, nor on all days.  When it helps, that is great, and when it doesn’t that may give you the encouragement to say no to a few of the things which are adding to your list.  Eliminate some of the things that are priorities for other people, rather than yours.

What else can you do about your stress?  You can pray.  You can pray for help to finish all your tasks or you can pray for help in discerning what is truly vital and what can be left to wait. 

It’s Just Around The Corner And It Just Might Make You Smile!


It is unusual, but I rather like this picture of me.  It seems to depict a moment of calm.  One of the most striking things I notice when I look at it, though, is how tidy and clean that portion of the room is looking.  This is a picture from one of our two main social gatherings we hold at our home each year during the holidays.  No matter what the house normally looks like, and I assure you this is not it, for at least those two days the upstairs is both clean and tidy.

This topic of tidying has come up before in my blog in the context of a blog about panic-clean-up boxes.  What I want to look at today is not the act, but the anticipation.

It was just today that it really sunk in for me that next week is Remembrance Day. For me on November 11 at approximately 12 PM Christmas begins.  I know that it won’t even be Advent yet, but that is the afternoon when the Christmas music gets added back onto my I-pod for the season and the first hints of Christmas decoration will begin to peek out from the closets and storage areas of the house.  This being the case, it is time to start picking away at the tidying job.

It is important in our lives to look forward to something.  It may be as simple as looking forward to that after-supper cup of coffee, special like a get-together with someone special, or something big like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Eid.  I’ve been down lately but I had plans with a good friend for after school today and my step got gradually lighter today as I realized it was getting closer and closer.  This is a special kind of magic that comes with Christmas.  In Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch puzzled to find that, ” It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.”

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we remembered to sprinkle a little of that magic into every new day as we get out of bed?  Every new day is a special gift.  Of course not everything may go our own way, but it is a day you have never yet experienced and we don’t know what pleasant surprise we might miss if we are looking down at our feet and waiting for the veritable shoe to drop!  Instead we could turn every corner looking forward to the new view, meet every person knowing we could make them smile, and go home at the end of the day refreshed rather than wrung out!

repost of Mary’s Angels: “I Am Not Alone”


tonight the moon is a mirror-ballA while back I went out for coffee with a good friend.  During the course of the conversation we touched on many subjects.  She was sharing with me that she had been going for Reike treatments (is that the correct term?) for a while and she said she had an amazing experience at her last session.  She shared the following story with me, and asked as well that I share it with you;

My wish is to have peace and taking part in a Reiki experience has given me this sense of peace and serenity.

My last two experiences have been quite different from my earlier sessions. During these session I encountered my angel. Initially, I saw two glowing lights moving around each other as if they were playing joyfully with one another. I  felt happiness and an immense sense of joy, an almost childlike sense that only the present moment mattered. From the lights, a presence developed as an outline.  The outline gradually became more visible until I could see a hooded figure there with me.  I could not see his/her face. During this time I could see part of a wing that was a vibrant white in color. The energy that was present was very strong and real.

I can’t remember much else regarding this encounter but the feeling that I wasn’t alone. It was as if I was at another level compared to the earthly one. The message that came from this was to enjoy life, have fun and laugh. And more importantly, that I am not alone because my angel that is a very strong one at that is with me at all times. This in turn gives me strength during my spiritual journey called life. Is it possible that this other level is the spiritual parallel place of holiness?

Angels, are they real?  I’ll look into this in a future post with help/reference to Calvin’s Institutes.

Photo credit to Miemo Penttinenmiemo.net

Please Step Up: Calls For Change


I don’t know who wrote this or where it originated, but I ran across it on Face Book one day a couple of weeks ago and it is one of the few things that I actually copied and pasted into my status update.

“Special request to all you kids returning to school in the next few weeks. If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because he/she doesn’t have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most “in” clothes PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them in the hallway. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone’s life! Pass It On ♥”

Unlike the “games” people play on Face Book which involve obscure notices with meanings blocked from the opposite gender or some other group kept out-of-the-loop, this message is clear about its intent and encouraging positive change.  This sort of move toward kindness, as you know if you follow my blog, is of great importance to me.

Where have we heard these sentiments before?  If Jesus had used Face Book the status update may have read something like this…”

My brothers and sisters, fellow children of God, don’t waste your time while you are waiting for my return .  If someone is struggling in any way, hungry, thirsty, friendless, or being bullied, LOVE them and do what you can to help them. Say hi or at least smile at them, share what you have. You never know what others might be facing in their lives. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone’s life, and what you do for them you are doing for me! Pass It On ♥

Prophet or Voice of Doom?


I think it is safe to say that there are still prophetic voices out there in the world today, probably not being paid much attention.  I think it is also clear that there are many people who get their five minutes of fame by predicting doom over one issue or another and they seem to be paid a great deal of attention.

 

I got the idea for this post a while ago while watching When Harry Met Sally with my daughters.  As he states himself, Harry has a dark side.  Particularly in the early part of the movie Harry makes many pronouncements which, while not necessarily without basis in reality, would suck the enjoyment out of almost any moment!  For instance;

 

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.
Sally Albright: Why?
Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?
Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

 

Later he and Sally actually discuss this tendency to the dark side;

 

Sally Albright: I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.
Harry Burns: Oh, really? When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.

A doomsayer is “one given to forebodings and predictions of impending calamity”  (http://www.merriam-webster.com) Harry, is a doomsayer!  Another good candidate for the title of doomsayer would be Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh;

 

“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.”Why, what’s the matter?””Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.””Can’t all what?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.”Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush.”

 

If predicting calamity is what it takes to be a doomsayer, then why do we not have a section in the Bible after the Pentateuch and Psalms and Wisdom Literature called Doomsayings?  If you read the beginning of many of the stories in the books of the prophets, they begin with warnings of catastrophe about to befall the people of Israel who have strayed from the ways of the Lord in one way or another.  Predictions of pandemics, military defeat, destruction of the Temple, and being taken into captivity abound!  I’m not sure I’d be in a hurry to invite a prophet to dinner at my house for fear they may have just such a message for me.

A prophet is,“one who utters divinely inspired revelations: as a often capitalized : the writer of one of the prophetic books of the Bible b capitalized : one regarded by a group of followers as the final authoritative revealer of God’s will <Muhammad, the Prophet of Allah> 2: one gifted with more than ordinary spiritual and moral insight; especially : an inspired poet 3: one who foretells future events : predictor” (http://www.merriam-webster.com)

 

The fundamental difference is that a prophet is divinely inspired.  The messages prophets share with the people around them are the words of God.   Some prophets in the past were pretty unhappy to be called upon to give the message they were told.  Jonah really didn’t want to help out the people of Nineveh and even ran away, but that didn’t end well for him and he delivered his message in the end.  There are stories of prophets hiding in caves in the wilderness to avoid crowds who were out to get them.  In 1 Kings 19 we read about Elijah, having challenged the prophets of Baal and won, ran away to a cave on Mt. Sinai to hide from Queen Jezebel who had vowed to kill him.

 

Regardless of the message a prophet may carry to us, our problem remains.  How can we tell when we are hearing from a true prophet and not a doomsayer?  Recently there was an individual who “prophesied” the coming of the rapture.  He claimed that the date and time were to be found written in Bible.  Many people were convinced by this prediction, some even selling all they had.  Many took it as a joke and there were many photos posted on Twitter of people’s clothing laid out as if they had just vanished from within them.

 

Our best hope is to look to the Bible to determine validity of such claims.  “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” (Mark 13:32)  This is also stated in Matthew 24:36 and echoed again in Acts.  If our doomsayer of the day had really been speaking words from God, he would have known that the hour and the day would not be written in the Bible.’  Through study and prayer we seek the truth of God.

Mary’s Angels: “I Am Not Alone”


tonight the moon is a mirror-ballA while back I went out for coffee with a good friend.  During the course of the conversation we touched on many subjects.  She was sharing with me that she had been going for Reike treatments (is that the correct term?) for a while and she said she had an amazing experience at her last session.  She shared the following story with me, and asked as well that I share it with you;

My wish is to have peace and taking part in a Reiki experience has given me this sense of peace and serenity.

My last two experiences have been quite different from my earlier sessions. During these session I encountered my angel. Initially, I saw two glowing lights moving around each other as if they were playing joyfully with one another. I  felt happiness and an immense sense of joy, an almost childlike sense that only the present moment mattered. From the lights, a presence developed as an outline.  The outline gradually became more visible until I could see a hooded figure there with me.  I could not see his/her face. During this time I could see part of a wing that was a vibrant white in color. The energy that was present was very strong and real.

I can’t remember much else regarding this encounter but the feeling that I wasn’t alone. It was as if I was at another level compared to the earthly one. The message that came from this was to enjoy life, have fun and laugh. And more importantly, that I am not alone because my angel that is a very strong one at that is with me at all times. This in turn gives me strength during my spiritual journey called life. Is it possible that this other level is the spiritual parallel place of holiness?

Angels, are they real?  I’ll look into this in a future post with help/reference to Calvin’s Institutes.

Photo credit to Miemo Penttinenmiemo.net

Does the Audience Change the Message?


I expect most of us are familiar with the expression, “The medium is the message” coined by Marshall McLuhan.  The phrase is as old as I am, well ten months older.  At the time it was spoken in reference to the quickly changing face of media and our tendency to focus on the obvious effects and not really look for a deeper level.  I don’t pretend to really understand McLuhan’s message, but I think that it is important to look at our messages, especially as they are becoming more and more public through blogs, Twitter, Facebook etc.

When I prepare a message for any of my usual churches I do so knowing that, for the most part, I will be preaching to a Christian audience with a fairly similar frame of reference to mine.  When I write something for my blog it is different, I have no way of knowing who may read my post so things I wouldn’t normally explain get explanation.  Things that are totally open to the world on the internet need a different filter than comments to my friends and colleagues over lunch.  Awareness of audience is even one of the sections on rubrics for evaluating student writing.

I am working on a service I will be leading at my sister’s church in the Montreal area.  I have led worship at all four of the Presbyterian churches in my area, but this will be my first time preaching out of the province.   I am somewhat familiar with the church as I have worshipped there and sung in the choir on occasion, but I don’t really know it.  I do know that there are several retired ministers and theology professors who attend her church. While I am used to having one or two retired ministers in the congregation for my services at home, they are people with whom I am very familiar and comfortable.  This is not the case for my sister’s church, and who knows what other areas of speciality  I may trip upon in my message?

One service I did on Aboriginal Sunday a while back went well.  At the end I greeted people at the back as usual.  One woman hung back for a bit and when she came up to me said she was debating whether or not to tell me what she really thought.  I asked her to go ahead.  She was not pleased with my message and gave me various reasons mostly related to her perceptions of “special treatment” for First Nations people in our area.  While she had, in part, missed the actual point of the sermon, she needed to talk about the issues it raised for her and I hope that helped her in some way.

So, would I write a different message if I was speaking to the un-churched, the working class, a room full of professors, or atheists?  In the end, all I can do is what I usually do.  I will study the texts carefully, review what other’s have said on the topic,  do some fact checking, and then write what seems to flow.  Hopefully what I say will give people something new to think about, something to inspire them, or something about which to debate.

Pentecost Part 1: It’s Not About Seances and Ouija Boards


I want you to think of the happiest, most joyful event in your
life. Think about where you were. Who was there with you?Imagine that you are right there now and let the feeling of joy fill you up. 

Do you feel your spirits rising? You may even feel that if you don’t tell someone about it you may burst! The Spirit of God is just like that. When the Spirit descended on the Apostles they couldn’t help themselves, they just had to share the Gospel!

We don’t like to talk about spirits very much.  It brings to mind ghost stories, séances and Ouija boards.  Because of this, Pentecost is an event in our church year which gets mixed reviews.  It makes us vaguely uncomfortable, but on Pentecost Sunday the church celebrates the gift of the Spirit to the believers. It is the birthday of the church!  

 

The Spirit is not a ghost. The Spirit is the Advocate sent to
continue the work of Jesus.  It could not come to us until Jesus departed. The Spirit is the final sign that we have been adopted into the family of God. Can you believe it?

If we are adopted that means that we are all part of the same
family and we will be there to look after each other and come together in a crisis and God, the head of our household, will be there suffering right along with us and being our guide for getting through the tough times.

In his letter to the Romans, Paul speaks of the groaning of
creation as if in labour pains.  Here he too makes the assumption that the church will be present in the world and active at times of deepest need and that God is present in the midst of the church. God shares our suffering and shares in our work of healing.

The current newsletter of the Presbyterian World Service and Development you can read;

“Three months following Japan’s devastating earthquake and tsunami, survivors are still struggling to rebuild their lives. The disaster claimed over 15,000 lives and over 8,000 people remain missing, according to the National Police Agency of Japan.

Despite the immense challenges evacuees continue to face, PWS&D partners are working hard to provide daily hot meals, medical care, emergency supplies and psychosocial assistance. To date, PWS&D has received over $360,000 for emergency relief in Japan.

PWS&D partner, Church World Service (Asia-Pacific) has organized more than 2,000 volunteers to help distribute food and help clear debris. Cash-for-work programs are providing necessary funds to people who have lost their jobs and are struggling to provide food for their families. CWS is also trying to regenerate local businesses by refitting destroyed kitchens of local restaurants, in order to provide food and jobs for the surrounding communities.

The mental wellbeing of people is one of the biggest concerns as people struggle to deal with enormous loss, survivors’ guilt and other issues. Daycare centres and a single parent hotline are two new initiatives to help traumatized children and parents cope with their circumstances.”

You can see clearly that the church is present in this situation, and you can be sure that God is present with the church.  The Spirit does not shy away from the hard times in our lives, and in our world.  The Spirit offers help for the present and hope for the future.  If we are to lead a Spirit filled life we need to hope
and remain patient.

Please remember the people of Japan in your prayers. You can make a donation to PWS&D’s work in Japan by contributing through your church, mailing a cheque to the office, donating online or calling 1-800-619-7301 ext. 291. Please mark all donations as “Japan Relief. www.presbyterian.ca/pwsd/japan

 
SCRIPTURE READINGS:
New Testament:Acts 2:1-21
Epistle: Romans 8:22-27
Responsive Psalm: Psalm
104:24-34, 35b

Evaluation and Testing: Our Everyday Need for Positive Feedback


flickr.com/photos/english106/4357228335

I am supervising exams this week at my school.  Right now I am covering another teacher’s class while he has a break.  This is a grade eleven math class, and if they have questions I will be of no use to them at all.  I did pass math in high school but that was a very long time ago now.

What I see in front of me is a group of twenty some students with calculators, papers, and pencils.  They glance back and forth between their exam, the calculator and the booklet.  Some are looking off into space as if praying for divine inspiration or intervention, others are hunched right over their desks.  There are looks of determination, fear, and the occasional wry smile as we briefly make eye contact.  There is near silence, papers turn, pencils scratch and feet shift on the floor, but there is no talking.

When you walk into an exam room, prepared or not, you know that in the next two hours your work will be judged.  If you have a good day and a following wind, your exam mark may raise your over-all grade but you know that it is more likely to go the other way.  On the up side, when the hours are over, so is the course and in June that means summer break!

Many of our life evaluations, however, do not take place in a classroom and are not neatly scheduled and limited to a two-hour block of time.  We are often not even aware that we are being tested; that a customer is forming judgments about our competence or friendliness; that a student is deciding whether or not we are trustworthy enough to ask for help; total strangers may be deciding whether we are doing a good job raising our children.  We will never know the results of most of these tests.  Unless a customer goes to complain or compliment we won’t realize that they don’t return to the store or that they avoid our check-out.  The student who decides against us will just walk away, and we almost certainly will not hear the strangers opinion of our parenting.

Whether or not we have any right to evaluate the people we meet and work with, we do it naturally.  Unless you are a person’s supervisor or they do something hurtful to you, I see no reason that we should share negative feedback with them.  Neither do we need to share with a person the nasty thing we heard someone else say about them, though we might want to defend a friend with the person doing the criticism.  What I think we do need to be doing, however, is telling people when we think positive things about them, or when we hear someone else making a positive comment about them.

We don’t hear enough positive feedback.  Certainly we don’t tend to give ourselves positive feedback, we tend to focus on our flaws and our failures.  This does little good, and contributes a great deal to our level of stress.  It may be as little as a smile or the like button on Face Book, or as big as nominations for awards or letters of thanks, but we need to praise more, encourage more, love more!