Until the end of last week I was, along with all my other things, involved in taking a seminary course on the book of Matthew. Over the school year to date I have taken two online courses, one an introduction to theology and this one on interpreting the New Testament. The thing that became most clear is that I know less now than I did before!
How can this be, and why bring it up now? It occurred to me that people reading my blog may at times mistake me for a person who “knows what she’s talking about.” In actual fact, while I do know what I have read, heard, learned, and the nature of my thoughts and reflections, I don’t have any previously untapped source of wisdom. I am not an expert! Hence the warning, Caution! The writer of this blog likely knows less than you do!
Throughout my courses this year, while working on essays on such weighty topics as Universal Salvation and Matthew’s Theology on Women, I spent a lot of time reading, reflecting and looking for the answers. Inevitably what I found would be a series of possible approaches, the realization that the topic was too broad for a three page essay, and most of all more questions. Unlike nice tidy questions like, “where is the Great Pyramid located?” the questions of faith are not to be answered with a correct or incorrect answer. There is no ‘knowing’ only reasoning, reflecting, and believing.
So, as I pick up my ‘pen’ again it is with greater trepidation than before that I’m likely to get things wrong. I can’t help but wonder if by the time I am ready for ordination I will still be able to put pen to paper at all.