Today, more than anything else, I feel heavy. I don’t mean that the scale was unkind to me this morning, but I feel a weight within me, dragging me down. I am aware of most of the causes for this weight right now, some social, some practical, and at this moment do not see an end to those particular tunnels but I know an end is there. I know because I’ve been here before.
In theory I know all the things I can or should do to deal with this weight;
eat well even
lots of sleep
let go of the small stuff
listen to music
go to my happy place
refocus on something positive
When I first wrote the list above I was busy typing in a, “Yeah, but…” for each item. Then I came to the one about focusing on something positive… and I went back and deleted them.
I am well aware that my weights are like feathers when compared to those of people living with disabilities, in war-torn areas, living in the wake of floods, mudslides, or those who are literally starving to death. I have everything I need and almost everything that I want and yet, the weight remains.
The items on the list above can indeed help as can writing, or talking with someone. As I’m sure you are expecting to hear, nothing has ever helped me as much as prayer. At my darkest times when I was unable to make myself take any positive steps for myself, I have repeated Psalm 23 over, and over. Repeating this Psalm I can actually feel the weight lift from me. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28
Cast your burdens on the Lord.